Russian President Vladimir Putin gave a marathon press conference Thursday in which he discussed the economy, the collapse of the ruble, Ukraine, China, tensions with the West, talk of a "new Cold War," and more.
Over the course of the three-and-a-half-hour press conference, Putin also made quite a few witty remarks. We've picked out some of the best ones.
He compared Russia to a bear that the West wants to chain up and subdue:
Today's animal-based metaphor: "Perhaps the Russian bear should quietly eat berries & not chase piglets in the taiga"pic.twitter.com/xb04XLefwL
— Shaun Walker (@shaunwalker7) December 18, 2014To finish that metaphor, Putin's point was that if the bear *did* quietly eat berries, West would CHAIN IT UP AND SAW OFF ITS TEETH (really)
— Shaun Walker (@shaunwalker7) December 18, 2014He compared Russia's invasion of the Ukrainian peninsula of Crimea to taking Texas from Mexico:
Putin on Crimea: "Was it fair to snatch away Texas from Mexico?"
— max seddon (@maxseddon) December 18, 2014He dismissed the notion of a coup in Russia:
Q: Is there a chance of a palace coup? A: Relax, we don't have any palaces.
— Shaun Walker (@shaunwalker7) December 18, 2014And then got a little silly:
Putin really enjoying himself now. Cackled at one of his own jokes, giggles "Circus!" My prediction of a short, surly press conf totally off
— Shaun Walker (@shaunwalker7) December 18, 2014Voronezh journo: "My aunt's friend asks if you have time for personal life, wink wink" New Kremlin star being born? pic.twitter.com/0Juo4bl3Ti
— Oliver Carroll (@olliecarroll) December 18, 2014Putin: I was asked if I love someone? I said well - yes. I haven't turned into a monster.
— Leonid Ragozin (@leonidragozin) December 18, 2014He bashed NATO, comparing it to the Berlin Wall:
Question about fall of Berlin Wall anniversary Putin complains about Nato expansion, again. "What, that's not a wall?"
— Shaun Walker (@shaunwalker7) December 18, 2014Reuters journalist tells Putin there are people close to you who blame you for Ukraine, rouble crisis etc as leader “Name them!” Putin jokes
— Tom Parfitt (@parfitt_tom) December 18, 2014Putin said he doesn't even know how much money he makes in his role as president:
Putin: I don't know what (Rosneft chairman) Sechin receives as an annual wage. I don't even know my wage.
— Tomas Hirst (@tomashirstecon) December 18, 2014Journalist says Khodorkovsky now wants to run for president. "Of what country?"#Putin asks, deadpan. Journalists chuckle. Ha. Ha. Ha.
— RAGreeneCNN (@RAGreeneCNN) December 18, 2014He insisted that there are no elites in Russia and thanks the country's "peasants" who live in poverty:
Putin talking about peasants again. "You can't do without peasants. Let's congratulate them on this year's harvest."
— max seddon (@maxseddon) December 18, 2014He made a joke about a reporter who was asking a question being drunk. It later emerged that the man had survived multiple strokes:
Apparently drunk journalist asks #Putin about drink - 'You've already had yours' quips President http://t.co/7I0ksTYKhs#PutinPresser
— RT (@RT_com) December 18, 2014Correction: Kirov journo who asked #Putin about #Kvas NOT drunk - survived multiple strokes
— RT (@RT_com) December 18, 2014
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